The Still Moments of Today
Erica’s words flow out in strength and grace as she shares the changes and newness of marriage, something I am positive every
person who has gotten married can understand.
It got me thinking about my current state of life, and how the experience of being single has been.
And in my own depths of vulnerability, thanks to Erica’s written nudge, here’s mine:
I love my still mornings, waking to an alarm and hearing paws thunder throughout the hallway. I get out of the bed, kissing the floor in my very own sluggish form of heroic minute, muttering, “Today, I will serve.” I rush around, chugging coffee like the addict I am (caffeine) and get dressed.
My mornings with Jesus have become my most treasured, and I have the current freedom to spend them with Him in daily Mass. I recognize all too suddenly that this may not always be possible, but for now, it’s my joy.
I take for granted not having to share, something that comes with the territory of having lived alone for so long. I don’t have to talk to anyone, I don't have to compromise, and I don’t have to make sacrifices on a regular basis. I can workout when I want, I can cook what I want, I can decorate how I want, I can travel how I want, I can spend how I want…the list continues.
Yet, this is a season in my life, an extravagant gift I can either appreciate or wish away.
One day, this won’t be the case.
My house will be filled with noise, sounds louder than the gentle stomping of dog paws.
My kitchen will be used by another person, one with whom I may have to learn to cook with (and for those who don’t already know, I hate sharing my kitchen).
My bedroom closets will house the clothes and shoes of another, requiring me to donate those ripped jeans I have worn since high school.
My bathroom will be shared by a person likely larger than I, forcing me to clear my counters covered in makeup palettes and curling irons.
My quiet mornings will require me to communicate, asking another if they want a cup of coffee rather than drinking the whole pot on my own.
My mass schedule may change if I have to uproot my settled life and move to a new place.
My television won’t be set to Downton Abbey and Criminal Minds, because football or basketball or, gasp, the news, may take over.
I am resistant to the change, basking in the freedom I so enjoy. But, I recognize that change is inevitable, bringing with it its own challenges.
Yet, ever so gently, I am reminded that the grace will be there; just as it is today. The grace of the sacrament will abound, because He has promised me so. And within my own current simple joys that make my daily life a place I long to remain, my God will call me out deeper into a new place of holiness, a new home with another that requires a greater form of sacrifice, my very own life as one.